Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn
Well true and yeah I can see how for awhile, my attachment did keep me working on stuff. But what I'm trying to articulate and failing is that my attachment somehow became more than that - it became emotional dependency and so basically I was relying on her to fill needs that I should have been working on learning to fill for myself - the very deep-seated need for maternal approval - like it was easier to just let her meet it and not work on it - and neither of us saw that that was happening.
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I guess i don't understand this. To some degree we are emotionally dependent on all the important people in our lives. Maybe she does not have the skill to do what you need her to, or maybe something else is going on. But i don't understand the difference between attachment and dependency in the way you interact with your T. I mean when i think negative emotional dependency its where you can't make a decision on your own or hold a job or whatever
I honestly think this forum sometimes pathologizes normal human attachment and behavior.
You have a husband. A family, a job, friends hobbies, all without your T. It makes no sense to me that you see yourself as pathologically dependent on someobe you meet with every other week. That's just normal dependency in my mind. We all need other people.
I guess i just don't get ir. You appear to function just fine without your T except for being emotional which is a normal part of relationships. I'd be equally upset if I had a big fight with a good friend.