AN ANGEL: Of course your feelings are natural! I've had very similar ones, because of being completely shut out of the lives of my children and grandchildren. I felt I could have added a lot to the lives of my grandchildren, especially. There is a sort of common "history" that creates the way a family feels about themselves. That can be a very strong bond. Or so I hear (lol). I've never had a chance to share that with my family, and I think it's a shame. So, in a way I really envy you those 3 weeks a year, because that's a chance to create many good memories.

When I was very young, my grandfather I had never seen began to send me LETTERS. I adored him for that. How personal. How private! Only for me. I could share or not share them, as I pleased. I kept them in a special, carved camphor box with a lock on it that only I could open. I know...I know. How to compete with TV, boom boxes, and computer? How to make up for the lack of physical presence over time? Well, letters (especially with pictures) can actually become a part of FAMILY TRADITION.

You could pull it off, AnAngel! You could gift each child with a very special box for your letters. The older children could READ your letters to the younger ones and make a ritual of saving the letters in the box. The older children could also WRITE for the young ones, sending a reply after asking the very young ones what they would like to tell you! How about that for making memories while absent? As years go by, the children could always go into the boxes and read some of Nana's letters. Understanding and love would grow. Well, what do you think?

And you could send recordings also! Yep. I suppose reusable CDs are still around. The seven-year-old will soon know how to burn CDs....and hold the mike for the tiny ones. That would give everyone something to look forward to!

I understand so much of what you are going through. This is the information age. So why not make the most of it? Thank you for letting us know what you have been feeling. Helps to know that I am not the only one.