Thank you all. I'm honestly scared to move out and live with family, because itmakes it even more final. I'm scared in general because I'm not sure I can give our daughter the love, affection and eveyrthing she needs that she's had with two parents from just one mother.
I'm not sure I can be both mom and dad, and it scares me. She's had mommy and daddy since day one, and all of a sudden all she's had is mommy.
I find his things, I use them, wear them, put them up in memory of him, but to me it's not enough. I want him back although I know I can't have him back. I feel like I'm being greedy, selfish. I want his remains to come back together. I want those ashes to turn back into bone, flesh, blood and muscle. I want all 405 lbs back of him. I want to see that smile, those blue eyes, that laugh. I want to take him back from heaven (or where it is that you believe in) and keep him for myself.

It was just too sudden of a loss...I dont' think I fully understand this myself.