I do not volunteer and tell my T because when I am in this state I only have the goal to be successful. He knows that I don't talk about this subject for attention or to be talked out of it. He always makes me fill out a 4 question survey each week about how I have been feeling over the previous 7 days. When he sees that I have had a bad week he will usually ask how about my sui thoughts and unfortunately he knows that I won't lie so I will tell him the bare minimum. We have spent a few entire sessions with him trying to understand my thoughts and reasoning on the subject and he continues to try to get me to agree to a one year contract which I keep telling is not going to happen. He then makes me commit until the next session and this will go on each session until he feels I am in a better state. I keep him in the dark mostly and will never reveal the extent of my intent.

He is really good about it. He always remains calm and simply wants to know and understand why. He tries hard to get me to give up the option and commit 100% to getting better. He knows I don't like talking about it and I don't like sharing any secrets about my plan. He does not seem to get frustrated with me although he has stated that I scare him sometimes. He will not let me leave unless I commit until the next session.