Hi Venefica. It sounds like your boyfriend doesn't respect you or your illness. No, I don't see any of what you wrote as crazy or hysterical or lazy. I hear someone who loves her boyfriend. A lot. And who is aware of the pain he is causing her. And who also wants to work with him to make things better. But needs validation. It sounds like you desperately want to see and DO see goodness in him despite his cruelty towards you. It sounds like he doesn't always treat you terribly. Does he want to work with you too? It sounds like, from what you wrote, that he doesn't care (though, I think you said he doesn't understand).

This could be a deal breaker for a lot of people. It sounds like he is triggering you and hiding behind the "but I don't get it, it's not real, you're lying" story. Whether his perspective is valid or not, whether he understands or not (it sounds like he doesnt) he is causing you pain. I don't really know if you can change a person, or get them to see the light. Though it sounds like you've tried, and it hasn't worked.

While my gut reaction while reading your post was "what a prick, she should dump him," I don't want to tell you what to do. Maybe go to couples therapy. and know that you always have the option of taking time away from him if you need to. How long have you been together?