Hi peeps. So I'm really trying to finally power through this attachment issue with my T. We're into year 6 together and I feel like I need to bite the bullet already. I have dealt with a lot of other grief and trauma and grown a lot in my time with her. This is the one area that is still heavy with shame and feels like it could take me down at a time when I'm otherwise stronger and more resilient than I've ever been.

Maybe I just want to bite the bullet already. I'm almost ready to shed this skin and see what is on the other side. I am ready to live.

The issue is that I feel this awful pit of neediness at my core that has caused me to form some very unhealthy attachments that I feel gross about. I feel gross about wishing T could be my mom and longing for her to take care of me. There is so much trauma in the attachment stuff that it feels incredibly daunting to take it on. You know?

I have tried bringing this up with her and she seems with me in the moment but then she doesn't seem to get what a huge undertaking addressing this issue would be for me. For example, I proposed a plan for her about six weeks ago detailing what I thought I'd need from her to do this work (eg phone check ins once a week for a specified period) and she never really got back to me about it. I was kind of mortified and happy to talk about something else the following session. There has been A LOT going on and I only see her weekly to be fair, it is hard to cram it all in. But still.

So how do I do it? How do I bring up such hard and mortifying and shameful stuff? How do I say that I'm angry that I worked so hard to to bring this to her, she promised to think about it and she let it drop? I mean I kind of know the answer. But I need you to nudge me in the right direction. Can you do that? Rockstars. All of you.