New here, ive been diagnosed with bipolar for ten years before that missdiagnosed depression since youth. had a rough childhood not really wanting to go into details but basically i had no learning of family/social things, bounced round hostels for ten years finally settled down with a lady when i was 25 had "ichy feet syndrome" as i call it and upped and left in the middle of te night after tat finally met the woman of my dreams dropped all meds got a job crumbled within 3 months had a full breakdown (when i got diagnosed bipolar and anxiety) ive been trough tons of diff med combinations currently on lithium citrate buspirone pregabalin quitepine and lorazepam for anxiety attacks. thing is im happy where i am my mood shifts regularily but i feel im "used to it" i see a psyciatrist and psychologist regularily (i feel the psychologist isnt greatly helpfull when im just told go for a walk) anyhoo to the point i clash like noones business with the mother in law i tryto explain to her how i work mentally go out of my way to bite my tongue when she snaps at me but somethings i flip about (mini flip vocal no shouting bu tense) have had one full meltdown to her face on how she emotionally blackmails her daughter into doing things she doesnt enjoy (family tree n ****) anhoo we were in her car on my birthday few days ago and i try to defuse things (i knew it was gonna be a bad mornign i could "feel it" so i say how her aunt shouldnt give me money as they cant afford it i get a snap responce to how i shouldnt know i was gettign money so i defuse it again with a comment how i walked past some washing up and didnt do it to which im told theres no excuse for that u dont work your in the house all day it should be spotless....i mention my bipolar stops me from thinking that way and yet again i get snapped at that i cant blame bipolar fr verything (i dont i just try to make her aware of it to try to explain why im odd) so on my birday im raging inside then she procedes to take me out buy me lunch and take me to model shop..this is what i cant cope with she is a lovly woman but i feel i have no respect like i shouldnt be with her daughter one minute she is snapping at me the next doing nice things. thing is its causeing issues with me and my gf because im venting at her about her mom and i end up feeling like i should just pack my **** n run again (WHICH I DONT WANNA DO) but the urge is so strong like they all would be better off without me. dont really know how to deal with this any family gathering i feel liek a total outsider (self imposed noone says things to make me feel it ) i just do i cant explain it..maybe some one out there with bipolar knows of this feelign and how to deal with it without it ruining my life by making me up and leave.