I just don't know how to live and what to do? I really don't feel like other people in important ways. I was never managed at all I think, maybe that is the reason. I am trying to understand it myself. All I know is, despite having trouble socialising in youth and clearly having deficiencies in skills even when I stayed at grandparents on "mother's" side I stayed on computer full whole days in the room, and nobody said anything. At the same time female parent over focuses on some negligible things. I know it's still strange though.
Also nobody cares or cared: if I will finish school, if I am employed, if I am getting along with friends. What I ate for lunch. If I ate. It's so many things and it's NOT normal. It's like I have been a boarder in the house of some cold stranger.
When I was spontaneous in youth, that was ignored, not encouraged.
Also I feel like nobody cares. I mean nobody calls me at all, not even in MONTHS. That is not normal.
People side with parents every time but hey, I never had parents.
Like I said, I was left at home every day until late evening since I started school. So I was left to myself all day. Nightmare. And oh, when parent came back it didn't exactly "make up" for it.
If you look at me now, I am very "static" but not my fault and not my personality. I just stay in one place. People have said I'm making up I was neglected because I speak eloquently but they don't see that I am missing basics of life. Unfortunately this part is not seen or cared about. Which is why I am getting these "why don't you just DO something" questions here.
And I'm angry because I was always responsible for everything but nobody said a word to me. It's incredible.