Quote:
Originally Posted by satsuma
I think, when I have had difficult stuff to talk about, I have talked about talking for a while before actually delving in.
So in this case, maybe that would mean talking about the fact that T didn't refer to the email you sent or the things you said, and how you found that discouraging/wanted T to be more supportive.
I think this could give T the opportunity to realise that she dropped the ball, and apologise, and/or demonstrate that she is listening and ready to take it seriously.
I usually found that talking about talking was helpful, and can be supportive because you can plan for what to do if you feel upset afterwards. It sounds like you were being very proactive in trying to do that.
I think that is what I would try anyway, if it is helpful! I'm sorry that your T did not respond well. I hope she can make it up to you.
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Talking about talking is a good idea.
Sometimes I feel like a normal adult with my T. I'll be talking to her about adult things like divorce or moving or work or what have you and I sometimes feel vulnerable around those issues. Like I'll feel tearful, sad or exhausted. Maybe I'll even feel ashamed or incompetent. But I basically still feel like grown up me doing the best I can. Usually I hear what she is saying and I feel encouraged and emerge with a greater sense of clarity and competence. Also I feel pretty secure in the relationship because there we are, relating.
And then there's the other stuff where I feel totally lost and helpless and childlike. It's brutal. I can't make much use of anything she says because I'm terrified that she doesn't really exist and I basically want some kind of comfort that she can only sometimes give me and I am overwhelmed and mortified because the need is so huge and so raw and so primal. I don't know why sometimes she can comfort me, it's like she strikes the exact right tone, posture and word combo and gets through. I feel extremely insecure and not at all sure that she understands me and I suspect I'm driving her crazy.
Anyway evidently my feelings about the latter type of session are a little intense because I worry that it's lurking there. But you're saying I can talk about this as an administrative issue: "it feels like you let the ball drop on the question I put to you some weeks ago and that is upsetting to me." Good plan!