There is no rational reason i can give you. None at all. More worryingly there never has been.

I wish I could more eloquently put into my words how I feel about myself, but the words simply don't exist that I know of to convey the feelings.

I'm trying to stop beating myself up over it. But it is a learned habit over many many years and I'm only just starting to get a grip on it.

I'm trying. It just see,ms that every time I hit rock bottom, then there's another floor under it that I haven't found yet