So I got out of fetal position depression and in FML depression but able to function and actually work a little more. This is great news, BUT..

I get paid in cash daily and for the third Monday in a row Ive gone into my main addiction and gambled. Its crazy as I dont even like to gamble anymore but I found myself each time around gambling as there are casinos everywhere around me.

Im still in so much pain and always lose my mind and think a few hours of poker will make me feel better and it will be ok...but it always ends BAD!

Im broke again and have to push paying off bills, but this is my last chance as if I dont get them paid next week Im ****ed. So Im going to work extra and pray my car holds up and can break the cycle and not gamble Monday when Im done working for the weekend.

Gamblers Anonymous does nothing for me, Im so frigging weak, but I hate ****ing gambling so much hat I know I can quit, and just have to be strong and even if put one month behind me I can at least pay my current bills and then starting knocking down debt.