Why is he having the affair in the first place? Is this his first and only foray in to the world of infidelity? I've known a lot of men who have affairs, and they're not all chronic jerks. There are very different types...there are the ones who make a hobby and pastime of it, ones who make a total mockery of the values of marriage. Then there's the kind who have just grown away from their partner, are aging and feel lonely and insecure, and don't know how else to feel good again. Or the ones that are themselves cheated on by their spouse, or the ones whose wives are terminally or chronically ill, and unable to be intimate for whatever reason, and so on.

As a shot in the dark, it sounds to me like the second variety, but there's not really enough info to go on. Please be more specific...don't be afraid to use specific pronouns, like "I" statements. As in, "I'm seeing a married man. He told me that he loved me..." etc. I seriously doubt that anyone is going to recognize you unless your screen name is a dead giveaway and you know people who read this forum. Distancing yourself from your question sort of muddies the waters.

But, all in all, I can tell you that the kind of man who finds himself in that situation without his wife knowing about it is the kind of man who doesn't mind lying for the sake of his own happiness. And that it's pretty likely that he will be equally selfish when it comes to telling you the truth some day. Then again, not necessarily...just highly likely.