(((((((((((Sunrise)))))))))))

I'm sorry you're feeling so hopeless right now But I don't think that means your T wouldn't be able to help you.

I remember feeling how you described above with my old T ... I'd go into her office and sit down in that big bright room and just want to close the blinds and hide under a blanket for all i wanted to tell her. She'd pull her chair up closer to where i was sitting, and lean in a bit. In those sessions, i wasn't really much of a talker (partially because i didn't know how i was feeling, and i also just didn't want to talk about it because it was so painful). But at that point, she knew me well enough to know that she still had an "in", a way that she could help me. So she would get out her relaxation book and just start reading to me. Sometimes we would do that the whole session, or sometimes just for part. Mainly though, she was just there. She was just there.

Sometimes all anyone really needs to know is that someone is there. That presence alone can help ease the pain, and guide us back to "reality" if you will ... telling us that they're just a person like us, and that we are wanted and needed in this world.

So while you may feel at ends with things right now, you just have to try and remember that there are people who deeply care about you in this world. Hell, there are probably people who even think of you as their world. So go to your T ... and even if you don't feel like talking, let him do it. Let him comfort you just by the sound of his voice, by being another person in the room on your side.

You have all of us here too in your corner .. routing for you, caring for you, and hopefully helping you realize what a special person you are for many people.

I sincerely hope things improve for you...

Jacqueline