Quote:
Originally Posted by BayBrony
I also don't get finding everything in yourself. Not everything can be found in yourself. For maternal approval you need a mother figure
For warm sibling like bonding you need close friends
To experience care taking you need to take care of someone or something
We are social creatures and are fulfilled by relationship
My T and i are working on the maternal thing right now. The idea as she puts it isn't to mother myself all the time. It's ok to get maternal care taking or approval from others.
But i need a strong enough sense of myself and my own self worth to take the nourishment from the approval etc, WITHOUT being broken or crushed by the inevitable rejection or indifference out there. To know I am worthy of love whether this maternal person loves me or not
I don't want to be finding everything in myself all the time. Then what is the point of sharing life with others??? But i also want to love myself no m atter what the other people do
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This is so perfect. Thank you. I was just trying to figure this out for myself. Where the line is between healthy 'need' or attachment and how much of this I can learn and internalize for myself.
I feel like sometimes we hear the goal of therapy is to get to a point where one is totally self-sufficient and doesn't need any external validation or support - but that's simply not human. It seems the goal is more about how to relate to the people we do have in a better way.
thank you