Quote:
Originally Posted by shattered sanity
I don't feel bad, I don't feel guilty.
Possible trigger:
what my family did, they did because they were bad, abusive, controling people.
it's hard for me to feel guilty because they made so many bad dicisions in their life- not just concerning my care, but also the care of my sister and brother, and my familie's future
if my family want to go to africa and abandon us, so be it
this is going to sound horrible, but they are dead to us.
we know they are alive (they still contact us, they still send us threats), but in our hearts and in our minds, they are dead, and we refuse to help them, just like they refuse to help and support us.
I think the only thing I feel bad for sometimes is myself not being able to rely on a family, not having a family to go too for support, and I often blame myself for being abused (which I know is a bad thing, and it wasn't my fault), but it feels that way at times.
you think well.. am I this horrible unlovable person everyone says you are?
and you come round to the ultimate conclusion, yes... yes you are.
it sucks.
question:
are their times in your life that you simply don't talk about because it is too painfull even for you? |
Yes, there are lots of times like this. Sometimes I know they happened and can't say the words because it is too much to handle safely. Other times I forget and then remember and then forget again and then I remember but forget that I forgot and tell my therapist again which is how I find out that they already know. Other times I know the memories are there inside somewhere but I just can't get to them- I say that "someone else has those memories right now, not me."
I put some pictures of the book in the bottom of my reply
I like this book a lot.
If you could make up some alternate story about where you come from that doesn't involve your abusers/family of origin/ biological people, what would your story be?