My heart goes out to you Rose. I'm not tired of hearing about it. I hope you'll continue to post and use us as a sounding board. It sounds like you are standing at a cross roads. I think you know something needs to change if you stay with him. You deserve a good life that fulfills you. You are so down right now you might not be able to see that. Do you love him? Are your needs being met? What are you getting out of this relationship? You sound like a good, caring person. You need to make yourself a priority. Thinking of you.