When I saw your post this time I didn't pay attention but last I checked before your response there were like 54 views and no responses. You had none? I find it hard to believe we are the ONLY ones who feel this way so it's odd that nobody is chiming in.

Not knowing who I am now makes sense. The black and white thinking is the WORST. Before I knew anything at all about BPD I knew this was a problem for me and I was googling stuff like "All or nothing" thinking. Plus I looked up "Extreme Perfectionism." I knew it wasn't a matter of OCD - my house is a wreck, but the whole thing of setting impossible standards. I can get a 97 on an exam and then be mad about the fact that I should have known the one I got wrong. I can struggle through a class (I have) then get an A but still feel stupid for the struggle. I'll feel like the teacher is the one that has low expectations, not that mine are impossibly high.

My sister has a bit of this also. She was once seeing a life coach who said to her, "You set your standards so high, not even YOU can reach them." THAT resonated with me. I do that to myself AND others and it's wreaking havoc on my life. If I don't think I can do it "perfectly" then I won't do it at all. Fear of failure is debilitating for me.

Anyway, it's good to know I'm not COMPLETELY alone.