It seems like I have had several problems
(1) anger/depression about feeling trapped in a family business
(2) recurring delusions/magical thinking
(3) loss of libido due to aging (I'm 50)

I think all those problems have diminished slightly, and the delusional thoughts seem to be virtually gone. The therapy has focused on the first item (anger/depression due to family business). Over several years, the anger has evolved into hopelessness. That is some improvement.

I don't know if the therapy has helped much. I kept doing it only because I thought I needed to be doing something and that was the only idea. Lately, I am beginning to think that it isn't going to work so I need to drop it.

Also, I have an urge to go back to the way I was before I developed psychosis briefly in 2009. I feel like it's time I get over what happened. It greatly affected my life, but I want to move on. I'm tired of thinking about religion and psychology. I'm tired of always needing support and approval on social media. It helps me, but I never needed that help before 2009.

Another possibility is that psychosis is a form of growth - or at least personality change. Maybe I can't go back because I'm not the same and times are not the same and so on.

A final thought it that I might be setting myself up for another psychotic episode. Maybe I had psychosis in 2009 because I had been sweeping my problems under the rug for years instead of facing them. IDK

I just want to be myself again somehow - the person I was before. (Not the bad parts though LOL)