Right now I feel like I'm in a lose lose situation. I'm annoyed at myself for being in here still. My friend who is currently living quite far away has come home for a few days for her birthday. I want to be out of here so I can see her and celebrate with her. I know I'm going to feel awful if I can't. At the same time, I'm not really sure that I'm ready to go home. I could go home, see my friend have a good time and then when she goes back I will still be in this dark headspace and nothing will have really changed.

I'm due to have a review with the consultant tomorrow, will probably find out when they plan on discharging me. I wish there was an easier option. Everything sucks today...