Pdoc appointment went as expected, uneventful. He wants me to go back on perphenazine to see if it'll help with my tics at all, and wants me to get my blood drawn so he'll have the results by the next time I see him in 2 weeks to see if we could try anything new for my depression. He didn't seem overly concerned about anything, not even my SI. He actually said my thinking in that regard was reasonable due to how my life is going. That kind of sucked to hear, but I guess it's good to know that he doesn't think I'm wrong for feeling like this?

I've cried a lot today and I'm running on 4 hours of sleep.
Pdoc also said he wants me to cut back on my T dosage, which I am completely against. I'm already on the bare minimum that's acceptable for FTM HRT, I'm not cutting back and I want my dose to be increased by the end of the month as promised. I'm not setting back my transition any further. Just thinking about that being a possibility at all makes me want to scream.
Ugh.