I also have Bipolar w/ psychotic features. I am not sure what scares me more, being hospitalized or dealing with a psychotic episode, alone at home. I do understand the fear of hospitalization, tho for me it's mostly the fear that if I am not released in time to pay my rent on due day, I would be evicted and all my belongings would be thrown on the side of the street. I would rather be at home, a danger to myself and others, than be homeless. Homelessness scares me more than anything because I am a hermit who hates leaving home.