I know I should forget about this woman it's just seemingly impossible right now.
I'm hoping more than anything that you are all right and eventually these feelings fade but right now I don't see the end in sight and it's frustrating. I don't expect it to happen overnight but I still can't help but think of this woman non stop and its making me feel guilty and as though I'm being unfair to my wife.
Most of the stuff that keeps me busy right now I can't get out of. There are a few hours more per week that I can probably free up. I need at least one night a week for myself to play ball as that keeps me sane, its my way of relieving the stresses life throws at me and right now when I'm playing I still think about this other woman but this is the only time I'm actually able to focus at least partly on something without her entering my mind as much as she would otherwise and I think I need that more than anything right now.