Sorry I had responded but I guess it didn't print...

I can totally understand how you feel. I have been through it and still have those feelings from time to time though not as bad as before I got on disability.

Have you hired an attorney to get disability?

As far as self esteem and self confidence, the best way to get those things is through setting goals and rewards. You set a goal and break it down into small steps. Each of those steps then become small goals. As you complete each goal, celebrate it by saying ”I am able to accomplish things. I just accomplished ____. I can accomplish whatever I put my mind to." then reward yourself with something small you wouldn't usually indulge in. Maybe a dinner out. Maybe a movie you been wanting to see. Etc. Do this until you accomplish the overall big goal. Celebrate that by saying "Yes, I can accomplish things and I can accomplish anything I put my mind to - look what I just accomplished!" And reward yourself with something large you wouldn't usually indulge in. Doing this not only gives you self confidence and self esteem but also self respect and motivation. Not all rewards have to be monetary based either. Some rewards are more simple. Depends on things that make you happy. For instance if you don't normally allow yourself to relax, but enjoy going to the park or beach, a picnic or day at the beach may be a nice reward. You set your own rewards and your own goals.

I hope this helps you.

Sorry again this has been sent so late.
*hugs*