(((FJ)))
Not sure if you've already spoken to her but for what it's worth, something jumped out at me (and, I recognize that I'm entirely projecting here given how my brain works) --
I know the conventional wisdom on this is different but can you think of what's the best way to really connect with your T when you're wanting to talk about this sort of complex emotional stuff? Like you, I tend to also take a more analytical approach (although, I haven't quite gotten to chart + comics level
).
That used to work super well with my former T (I don't know who was more uncomfortable with actual feelings -- her or me) and she totally 'read between the lines' of all that extremely logical verbiage and got what I was trying to say.
With current T, to say that approach falls flat would be a gross understatement. Her usual attunement to me goes for a total toss when I use my head, so to speak, to talk about how I am feeling. She says the wrong-est things, forgets stuff, starts visibly struggling to connect the dots and in all this while, my irritation / hurt / anger levels just go right through the roof.
What does work for her though is when I screw up the courage to say eff-it to any logic / analysis and instead just go right to the raw emotion -- that has meant that at times I've literally sounded like a < 5-year old in session and I've accused her of all sorts of offenses in the whiniest tantrum-y tone imaginable. Strangely, while I was curling up in a fetal ball of shame in another part of my noodle as this display of mine was underway, she totally "got it" -- said the exact right things, fixed the stuff that needed to get fixed and so on.
In the process though, I also had to -- very scarily -- open myself up to her responses to me (while I was in the < 5 year-old state) in the moment. I had little or no access to the super rational, super logical, super cognitive part of me -- anything she said, no matter how much it may hurt me, had to be responded to right then and there. And, the hurt, anger, total silence, absolute rage etc needed to be shown and dealt with right then and there.
Oddly though, barring a few occasions (when there was other stuff that was really getting to me), doing it this way made me feel "soothed" and "settled" to an extent that all my logic and analysis (over many many many sessions) had failed to help me achieve.
But, do I now revert to this approach every time I need to convey anything to her? Nope, of course not. Why would I make therapy easier for myself? Like really, why?
Oh, and as for her not bringing it up later -- have you tried just starting a session by telling her that you have nothing to say and so, does she have something to say? And, if she still doesn't bring it up, then talk about how it feels?
The reason I'm saying this is because -- again, given my hyper-analytical and uhh...hyper-in-control (sounds nicer than controlling!) attitude towards these sorts of things -- I usually go into session knowing exactly what I want to tackle. Consequently, current T just lets me do whatever and says little to change the agenda. A few times though, I decided to switch it up and just did this "I got nothing" routine and she surprised me -- like seriously surprised me -- by bringing up incredibly cool stuff (things that I thought she'd totally missed but were super important to me but clearly she'd very astutely picked up) from previous sessions.
And, a couple of times, I've gone a little further and actually just made it open-ended by asking "Hey, how are you feeling about that session when we discussed X?". Again, she's super surprised me by bringing up stuff from there that she thought might've annoyed me (my major problem with her) or made some kinda impact but I thought she'd totally missed.
I am absolutely positive that if I hadn't given her these openers, she'd never have brought it up on her own.
I know in your case it's different because she said she'll think about it and let you know but I've seen that happen as well with Ts -- they still don't bring it up unless the client does again.