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Old Aug 01, 2017, 09:57 PM
Calilady Calilady is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 439
Quote:
Originally Posted by justbreathe1994 View Post
My T has been out of town for the past few weeks and is returning next week. I was doing really well until these last couple of days... I just really miss her. I'm also feeling incredibly sad, so I'm not sure if I just miss her because she's a comfort to me, or if I'm sad because I miss her as an individual. For any of you who have been through the painful attachment work with your T, did you eventually reach a point of "healthy" (not sure if that's the right word) attachment? And if so, what does healthy attachment feel like? Because of how painful this work has been for me, I find myself not reaching out to anyone for support (besides this forum) and I worry that I've lost all ability to attach to anyone. I just don't feel a lot of feelings for anyone anymore (other than empathy) and it's really scaring me because I feel like my attachment styles has gone from one end of the spectrum (insecure/obsessive) to the other (avoidant).
The latter part is what I'll answer as far as swinging from insecure anxious to avoidant (dismissive or fearful)...that is actually quite normal.
I have attachment issues whether it be platonic or romantic.
Platonic I am more dismissive, whereas romantic, I'm more insecure.

A secure person can also embody traits anywhere on the attachment scale, as well. Most of us do this, actually. At least, from the books I've read on it.
Thanks for this!
justbreathe1994, Out There