This is honestly such an awful thing for me to admit, and honestly I really dont want to admit it due to the nature of them and how much of a terrible person they make me feel. But I do often fantasize about getting hurt or injured, sometimes without even wanting to. They make me feel terrible for having them, usually they center around me getting hurt, very seriously and then getting rained on with attention. It even creeps into my suicidal thoughts and make me wonder weather or not I want to die for attention or not. The scenarios can range from injuries to rape. I wish I didnt fantasize about this as it make me feel so bad and ****** to know I think about this. I wont actually go out of my way to get hurt or lie about being hurt to anyone, so you dont have to fear about that but it makes me analyse my actions to make sure I'm not faking them. Like I was recently sick a bit ago and it caused me to lose my voice, I did actually fear that I was purposely pretending to have a lost voice just for attention :/. I dont know what to do about this, does anyone else share this problem?