I thank you for these responses. I appreciate your words and I agree with your suggestions and advice. Years ago I volunteered at a women's shelter and at a church. I like being involved in something constructive. For a good 4 years, meeting his needs has seemed all-consuming of my time and energy. I have thought that, later when I am alone, I can pick from many options in my community to do something useful. I just hope I can make myself care enough and won't have deteriorated too much. I have reasonable health. I don't feel as on-the-ball as when I held demanding jobs.

I went over to see him this evening. He sure doesn't look like he's on his way to the hereafter. But he has become a big behavior challenge to the staff. They said he tried to hit someone earlier this afternoon. That validates me saying that he can be quite a handful. He told me to take him home - immediately. He was confused and didn't even know he was in a hospital. He said, "Let's go right now . . . or else, get out. I don't want you here." I'm not personalizing that at all. They have a "sitter" watching him because he keeps trying to either pull out the I/V, or get up to walk, even though he lacks the strength to stand up. My trying to gently calm him down just got him more agitated. So I left. Clearly I could not cope with him at home, as he is now. They are recommending he go to a rehab facility next. I think that's the best bet. But, tomorrow, he doesn't have to go anywhere. So that buys a little more time. He may improve mentally and agree to a rational plan.

I miss him being here with me. I'm tired and going to sleep. That's all I want to do right now.

Thank you, each and all. You are generous with kind words, and the posts above are appreciated.