I am very much helped by the understanding and encouragement I have received here. I am getting a reasonable amount of sleep, though, as the time stamp shows, I awaken in the middle of the night. So tommorrow maybe I will have the energy to visit some rehab facilities and pick one out for him.

Over the course of the last few years, I've envisioned caring for him and what would be involved. I thought I had anticipated how everything would be. But reality has a way of taking unforeseen twists and turns, no matter how well I thought I had considered what could happen. My own responses to him range back and forth over a spectrum from devotion to exasperation. Last night, I found myself loving him and glad that he seems to have no physical pain. The joy on his face when I walked into his hospital room was touching. I do still feel loved by him. I can't make everything all better for him, though he seems to think I can work magic. He is brave in his own way. We had some smiles together, even though he was confused and fighting reality. The staff at the hospital has been nice to both of us.

I hope I can sleep some more. I don't feel so overwhelmed now.

Thank you all for your wise and generous words.