You guys are right..i am from Pakistan and in my country talking abt mental issues is considered a tabboo. I am a doctor hence i know and im aware that i am going through something that is not good for my mental health. I had this feeling since i was a teenager but i could never understand it, i wasnt the best student in the class not the most well read not the best in sports and girls around me were blossoming and i was not. I thought if id do good in my studies learn a few skills be a good reader know abt the general politics around the world my sense of self worth will increase my teachers will appreciate me more..but it never happened that way..i was always ridiculed in my school because i was an average to above average student which was not enough for my teachers so i stopped studying at all and i ended up with below par grades..
I know you all must be thinking how did i became a doctor? I had passion for it i love what i do and i would always tell myself mentally that if id study more and achieve what i wanna achieve ill feel better from the inside..it wasnt until i was in my 4th year of medical school that i realised i suffer from anxiety disorder and depression and that i have a very low self esteem..my mental health was so bad during those days id sleep for 30 mins at night only always thinking how the world hates me and im just good for nothing..
Once i diagnosed myself i seeked a psychiatrist in my teaching hospital and i discussed my insomnia with him and he helped me alot with my sleeping problem with great stress relieving and sleep hygiene tips
Now i dont have that kind of depression and anxiety that i had 2 3 years back..but yeah i still am fighting the negative voice within me..im trying..i know fate brings us whatever it is written for us and i know how hard i hqve worked to reach where i have reached and im proud of myself..i keep on mentally telling myself that whenever i feel like my inner voice shouts LOSER at me..but yeah therapists are not that easy to find in my city..if you guys know a good online therapist do let me know