To me it's more like having an unpredictable room mate in your head with you. They're always there but sometimes you don't notice them. Some days they drag you down the darkest place you can imagine, other times your roommate hand-feeds you ecstasy. I more often experience depression it sucks, but in a weird way i find it comforting and peaceful. Maybe in used to it or maybe losing all hope is what brings me to peace. I'm sure some people would disagree, but I've come to somewhat embrace BP.