I'm new to this tread. But I've had bipolar w/ psychotic features for 7 years now.

At the moment I'm going through a pretty bad depressive episode. I barely leave my bed or eat anymore and I'm starting to see/hear things again so I'll probably be hospitalized when I see my doctor in a week. It really sucks but I think it would be best, so they can change my medications since they're obviously not working anymore. I can tell the things I see/hear aren't real so I still have insight which is great from what I've been told on here, I'm scared that I'll eventually loose that insight and not realize what's going on around me. That's one of my biggest fears, besides being in the hospital. I never had a bad experience in the hospital but I'm terrified of the "locked up" feeling.

Just wanted to vent somewhere since I can't talk to my family about what's going on. They just shrug me off or say that I'm making excuses for not working right now. They don't understand what this disorder is really like, which is odd because ALL of my brothers have either Bipolar or Schizophrenia .. I'm probably going to have the doctors help me file for disability, at least for the short time. I only have 2 friends I talk to about my issues and they're pretty understanding and just want me to be safe and happy. I'm glad I found this site because there is a ton of people who can relate to what I'm going through. Sorry it's so long