Quote:
Originally Posted by Elio
What is the most you were contacting him outside of session and how often did you see him?
I'm confused about the outside of session contact. My T also encourages me to contact her outside of session. I struggle with it because I know I can become obsessive as well as I can easily establish routines for something like this so I'm constantly battling myself if I should send that email and what will be too much.
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One thing my T has said repeatedly that really comforted me is that I do not have to worry about what "too much " is. If i overdo it that is just a sign i have needs that are not being met. In which case she will try to help me figure out how to remedy that. Not necessarily by her changing her behavior but by working together to find solutions.
She has said it so many times I actually believe it. And one thing I have learned is how to figure out what I really need and ask for that ( ie i used to send 4 texts all skirting around the fact that i need her to say she supports me in something. Now I've learned to just text "please tell me you support me in this" and wait.
I've overdone it once or twice and its been painful but direct and we were able to work through it . She is very attuned so she is good at knowing when i need a bit extra. Like right now since i am struggling and we have had a number of unplanned breaks she is texting me more than usual