I'm 34. I've been on disability benefits since I was 21, which is why I can't afford to leave. My sister lives on the other side of the country, and honestly, she is much like our mother when you get down to it. There isn't any other family that I could turn to, because my mother has them all convinced I am the problem and that she is perfect.

She is narcissistic, and no one irl believes me other than my T and pdoc. She has me so utterly defeated that it's almost like Stockholm syndrome or battered wives syndrome. But I'm an adult, and she is never physical. When I try to explain it to people, they all just say "then leave" but it's not even just the rent part of it. I rely on her for all of my expenses. Medical bills, car insurance, gas money, my phone. And she uses that as leverage to keep me compliant.

I've asked friends for help, a couch to sleep on, anything, but there's nothing. No one will help. They don't understand what it's like living with a woman who only cares about me in the sense of what use I am to her.

She was emotionally distant and neglectful when I was growing up. I don't remember her ever saying I love you and I only remember one hug.

I just can't keep doing going like this... She keeps breaking me down more and more and won't listen when I try to talk to her... I don't know when, not tonight, but at some point, she is going to win. I have already reached my limit... I've gotten to the cliff's edge and now I'm walking on a tight rope with no harness and no net... all it is gonna take is one little breeze... I'm just done.