I can understand these feelings....I've been battling them myself lately but I'm a little hypo and not fully depressed so I'm still able to shake them off and keep moving forward for now. It's so hard and my heart goes out to you. How you are feeling is likely temporary....I'm sure history would show you that these things come and go and you need to hang on awhile longer to give them the chance to change again. We are here to listen and it's ok to admit you are struggling....it's ok to ask for support and help. ((Hugs))