I think I'm going to call his social worker and tell her I'm in kind of a crisis. I hate to make an irrevocable decision that I'll end up being sorry for. But I hate to stay in a set of circumstances that are unhealthy for me . . . and that are likely to get worse and worse.

I want to act as a responsible adult. There are ways of relinquishing all or part of a responsibility that are mature and appropriate. And there are ways of running away that are childish. I have some history of doing the latter.

I feel pretty calm, though I've been crying on and off. But I also know that I have years of built up resentment that may be driving my thought processes at the moment.

Maybe I'll go back to bed and do nothing for today. (That doesn't sound very adult, does it?)