Hi Nammu, thanks for your caring reply -- good question. Well, I just am overwhelmed with all the complex instructions I got yesterday from the new pdoc. All about how and when and IF and HOW and WHEN and IF this one works, or that one doesn't...about my GERD medication and Latuda. Very complex instructions about calories, times, variations on times -- it actually drove me way, way, way over the edge after I got home from my appointment with her. And now this -- 3x a day with Buspar, on top of all of that. That's what is making me frustrated and not wanting Buspar.

Besides, today I took one of the 3 Valiums (10 mg ea) I have left (no refills) and went to sleep for 90 minutes, then woke up fine. That's what I need -- something that works IN THE MOMENT -- not something that I take all the time.

You asked what's making me angry -- another thing , and we've all heard this so many times we are really sick if it -- we are being experimented with --not being paranoid here the professionals are doing the best they know how to do --- BECAUSE nobody knows what works for each of us, or when/if something works for one of us, Why it works, and Why is quits later on. I just am real, real, realllly tired of it after 20 years of "let's try thus and thus" or "Have you tried....?" Yes, 20 years of mental health treatment in the system, and 40 years before that trying things that didn't work at all, not in the system yet. I'm just bummed by the whole thing. I used to believe the meds were working for me, and people I knew well said they did, but now, after over a year of wrongful meds that really screwed me up, I'm kinda at my wits end. I was hospitalized for the first time in my life, it got so terribly bad.