I told T about a specific, hurtful, loaded phrase a former T often used on me: "being a victim" (he was saying maltreatment were my fault because I was being a victim and letting people hurt me).

Then about 25 sessions later, she used the exact same phrase as a question "Do you want to remain a victim?", and said it a second time when I tried to dodge it. That was definitely a rupture.

I worked it out with her the next session by being assertive, but my anger flared up again a year ago, because I forgot how we mended the rupture and just remembered the rupture. We spent the next session talking about my hurt, my anger over her using that same loaded phrase that former T did. My T handled it well and explained she did not have the same shameful connotations attached to that phrase which former T had when he used that phrase to shame me. She acknowledged my hurt and agreed that she could have avoided that (since I had told her several times about former T using that phrase) and used clearer, better words to convey her meaning better. She also shared that she felt wronged by me because I was so angry with her and had concluded she was out to shame me and berate me like former T.

There might be value in confronting your WHT, MLS. See how she reacts as a test of if she can be non defensive, if she can empathise with your anger and hurt.