I am not asking if I have any mental illness or anything. I have just been feeling...well bad more than ever in my life. And I want to know if I should be conserned and what to do if I may have something to be conserned about.
I have slowly gotten more and more isolated as I have gotten older (since 15 ish until now 21). I moved away to college not two years ago with my husband. I lost most of my emotional support system. It feels like I am incapable of making real friends and I spend most of my time alone. I used to rely heavily on my husband as someone to talk to. But lately I haven't been able to talk to him about anything beyond the mundane. I am introverted but I spend more time alone than I would like. I can't talk to people without fiddling with my hands or biting my lip, and sometimes I do one or both just being with people. I also used to be a competitive public speaker, I have actually spoken to a crowd of also a thousand before. But now I can't stand up infront of a handful of people and speak. I feel all over the place sometimes I don't want to sleep and others its all I want, that also goes for food. Sometimes I just feel like kicking someone and running far far away and others I dont feel anything. I sometimes am feeling so much I just feel like exploding and I want to talk to my husband but I just can't. And I can't talk to anyone else either.
I don't like to admit that something is wrong with me. I lived with a slipped disk for 9 months because I decided that it would fix itself. But I am starting to think this is not something that will fix itself.