The problem is that even if I'm assertive, that won't help, and might even make things worse for me. People ultimately don't care how a woman acts. The overriding "preexisting condition" is that she is a woman. She is automatically dismissed.

I'm literally shaking right now. The only person who supports me is myself and it shouldn't be that way. At least I know I'm not crazy. If I just embrace my anger I don't have to self harm anymore. I don't have to be ashamed.