I hope you can be compassionate with yourself. This is all part and parcel of "having attachment issues". You are learning and growing even from this - from trying this out and being aware of your reaction and sitting with your feelings. You learned you have made progress but even so you are still sometimes triggered about the possibility of losing your T. It isn't absurd. This is how healing from attachment goes right? I don't think your backward steps negate the forward ones. Maybe its just all part of the dance.