Thank you all for your responses.

Amyjay-
My T is always trying to get me to be compassionate with myself. I am trying to stop hating myself but as I get better, I'm also realizing how ineffective in my various roles with different relationships that I've been. I'm talking to T about this and it is bringing up a ton of shame and I can't help but think that my T hates me as much as I hate myself for this. But I realize I need to be compassionate with myself in order to overcome this.

Unaluna-
Good point on the rapprochment phase and managing independence. I wonder if it's as painful for toddlers as it is for adults?

Monalisa-
You're right, this is shaming. I am focusing today on being compassionate with myself. At times, this is difficult because I feel like I don't deserve it.
I have and continue to talk to my T about how me getting better triggers me. He is very kind and understanding. I'm sorry you've had so many ruptures with your T about attachment, it is so painful. I had a difficult T before this. My current T is more than I ever could have hoped for. I wish everyone had this.