Getting better has brought forth more shame, it is as if it never ends. Now I get to reflect on my insanity/depression/lack of motivation/withdrawal from life and feel the intense shame that comes from not being who I wanted to be, not being there for my family as I wish I was. I feel like I've dropped the ball in all sorts of ways. I've kind of been talking to T about this and it has brought up more intense shame and pain. I truly feel like the biggest loser on earth. I have listened to my T and you all of your kind advice, and am trying to be compassionate with myself somehow. I've yet to convince myself that I deserve it. I suppose my goal is to sit here and tolerate my thoughts and emotions/shame and to at least not react with self hatred. Thanks for all of your help!