UPDATE.
For those who read the before replies. Again "Dad" promised to come for the weekend. Well guess what? Surprise, he is not coming. (Only person I still have..) He says "I hope I come next weekend" but after two months talking and promises AND him knowing for half a year he should take a month off this summer to be with me, is this not enough time? If he was EVER coming, not when it f*ing suits him, then he would have come. Who really cares. I am left by myself.
So, now: - I can go to grandma's. Minuses: it's a neighbouring poor country. She is old and slightly ill and I'm not sure how happy she will be to see me. There is no one to hang out with me, practically no youth. There is no one to really introduce me to people. There is no one to help me find a job and this is a village, 40 min. away from city. I will have to see this monster again when he comes home (big minus. He obv. doesn't care if I am jobless, friendless, how bad I feel, and if I have food to eat tomorrow.) Will this really help me improve my situation and how am I going to live there without a job and connections for long-term? Nobody cares about that either.
- I can literally rot here in this room. I was hoping to continue my uni. education after September but I also thought by then I'd have the experience of being with family and getting some help. By end of summer, I will only have seen the psychiatrist twice as she is so booked. So I have to worry about education, too. If I go I will do something good for my future jobs but all considered, it could be bad. It lasts three years abroad. I need help now while I'm young. But if I go to grandma's, what happens if no one helps me and I end up begging for money as an older woman?
All options are absolutely horrible. I need your advice :'(