I replied to a post in a previous thread about healthy attachment that got me thinking more and wishing to explore this a bit further/get advice from others on here.

My T has offered the option of some minimal out of session contact via a text if 'needed'. He hasn't pushed it but twice before long breaks he has said that if I need to message him that I can. He has said that he wouldn't get into a big conversation and would respond only with a text or two at most.

My issue is I that there have been times when I really really wanted to send him a text but have never been able to do so and it is beginning to annoy me. I mean part of the issue is that don't feel that I actually 'need' to do so and that he said that if I ever 'needed' to not if I ever 'wanted' to. I mean what really constitutes 'needing' to text him..I mean I do understand why others on here feel the need to but I just can't seem to apply that same understanding to myself.... I don't feel like I've ever really 'needed' or 'need' anyone (although I do have a long term partner who I rely heavily on so perhaps I could say I 'need' him but I also know that if we ever split up that although I would be absolutely devasted that I also would survive and life would continue'. I guess I just really struggle with the idea of being 'needy' and understanding what exactly needs are or more specifically what my needs are.
I have a strong attachment to my T and the longing and feelings for him are sometimes extremely intense but in saying that I really don't think that I 'need' him. I mean if he left tomorrow I would be devasted and heart broken and everything else in between but I again I would survive and life would go on... Does any of that make any sense at all?

I'm not sure if my desire to text him is perhaps more based on the feeling that it would help me to remain close to him and also help to continue to build my trust in him. I still struggle with the power imbalance which does at times cause me to hold back certain thoughts and perhaps this would help alleviate it.

Anyway, I think I am waffling on so I will stop now just throwing some thoughts down and appreciate any responses.