I'm pretty much the opposite.
when I'm stable it pretty much leaves my brain
when I start to become symptomatic/or have the insight directly after an episode then I think about it again and what it means as in "damn the bastard is still hanging around"

Right now I am pretty much stable and in a decent place so its easy to say what I am about to say:

But its just not good for anyone to think or obsess or ruminate about it too much. I think its unhealthy and begins to take up way to much rent in the brain and almost begins triggering symptoms in its own right.
Sure do the right things that keep you healthy but otherwise the best best best thing you can do is start focusing above the shadow. You are still aware of its existence but it does not become all of who you are.