Quote:
Originally Posted by here today
As I mentioned in an earlier post, it’s kind of like I had scabs over some of that stuff but not a real “psychological skin”. Let’s say, that because of underlying trauma, similar to an infection, the skin couldn’t heal. Then in therapy the scabs get picked off, trying to let air into to the underlying pathology, but then new pathology from the therapist can get in, too. This is not just re-traumatizing, but also NEW trauma.
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this is an excellent metaphor that i definilty relate too.
i went to therapy to address the effects of both the developmental trauma and childhood sexual abuse. instead of learning ways to cope and heal from those traumas, eventually the entire process/focus of therapy became all about the therapy....the relationship with my ex-T and many of his agendas. it was as if the truama from the CSA and developmental truama was 'dulled down' and almost entirely engulfed and overshadowed by this new truama of therapy it's self.
not sure if i am explaining it that well, nor am i sure one would really understand it if they have not experienced it, but when i came to realise that many of my thoughts (quite obsessive at times) were becoming about my T and therapy, i had spiraled to my lowest point ever in life and knew if i was going to survive therapy (and life for that matter) that i had to find a new way (better way) of moving forward. talk therapy was not going to provide that level of healing for me at that time.