But you do have the right to express your concerns about her impairment because it is affecting her job performance and having a negative affect on you. Again, for whatever reason -- substance abuse, mental or medical health issues, age related memory problems, etc. -- your t is impaired enough to the point of where it is causing you mental harm.

What's happening here, really, is not good for either one of you. Your t's lack of self-care, denial, avoidance, or whatever she got going on is hurting you both and will continue to get worse if left unaddressed, as you know. If you express your concerns to her, you are essentially helping yourself and helping your t.