I knew it would happen and I went gambling. It was yesterday and was pure insanity. I was triggered by the construction next to my house at 7 am. I started to work and found myself close to a casino and crumbled. The only thing that could of stopped it if I didnt have my ATM and a couple hundred in account. I need to stop carrying my ATM and just like 30 bucks cash for gas and food.

Anyway it was both horrible and terrific as I got a lot of action in off little money. I was up a chit-ton and was in total crackville. If I would of walked way up I would of solved a few problems but Im weak and want to break the casino.

But I lost most of it back, but made some purchases with winnings when I was in between casinos and walked away with my original money and a few extra bucks, BUT felt so horrible after and this morning. I cant believe I cant even enjoy a small win but I was up so much at one point it felt like a huge loss.

Its for the better as I have no desire to go back right now and usually this buys me a month before I crumble to it. Gives me to time to get stronger when Im angry about the habit and build walls to not gamble when the urge is back.