I've also had problems discriminating between my needs and wants, in many ways. Sometimes my wants in the moment can get in the way of what I truly need. One way I try to tell them apart is to ask whether what I want momentarily would serve some kind of positive purpose, other than providing a form of instant pleasure/relief or distraction. It is still not easy to separate them in a subjective way. I had a lot of between-sessions communication with both of my therapists, but I think most of it served more a desire for instant gratification and distraction rather than support. But exactly how it was useful for me, because with time I could see a very clear pattern in how I tend to use contact as a defense to really deal with things.