Hi, I wasn't sure to post this in the Depression sub-forum but it looks like it's for people who were diagnosed with it.


Simply put, I hate driving with my dad. I never liked my dad in the first place and having to drive with him makes me hate him even more.

I am 24 years old and I got my driver’s licence last year in July. I live in the province of Ontario in Canada where we have two obtain two novice level licences (G1 and G2) before attaining a full driver’s licence (G). I still have my G1 meaning that I must have a fully licenced driver in the passenger seat. I kept delaying my acquisition of a G1 licence for years on end after watching my older brother having to deal with the stress of driving with my highly critical dad.

I have been driving since last year in October, roughly 10 months. I have been taking lessons with an in-car instructor as well. My instructor is a very good teacher as he is very patient and does not criticize when I make a mistake.

I have finished the curriculum with the driving school (I even drove on the freeway and downtown with the instructor). However, I still have to complete a road evaluation as part of the driving school’s requirements (this is NOT to be confused with the road test as administered by the government…I don’t know when I will ever do that). I didn’t pass it the first time around, so I have to re-do it later this month. I am starting to doubt my abilities since my instructor was telling me that I have been improving well throughout the course of my lessons. After all, he wouldn’t have scheduled the evaluation if he didn’t think I was ready.

The thought of having to practice driving in prep for the evaluation makes me horribly depressed. I hate driving with my dad as he is critical of every mistake I make, that either I: turned a corner too wide; I didn’t accelerate enough after finishing a turn; I’m not speeding up when changing lanes. I am now taking longer to decide when it is safe to make a right turn at a red light because I am so afraid of cutting off another car in the distance. This makes my dad angry and impatient. I never took this long before, but I am becoming increasingly hesitant with my competencies. When he makes these harsh comments, I become deeply upset and unable to drive. I end up coming home feeling like a total failure and beating myself up for all the mistakes I made. As I mentally replay each instance where I made a mistake/he got mad at me, I cry about it, hating myself even more.

I absolutely dread having to drive with him, but he is the only person who I can drive with. Btw, my family only has one car. My mom doesn’t have a licence and my brother doesn’t want/is afraid to drive the family car despite him being fully licenced (we have a mutual dislike for our father…we were never close to him). I have major communication problems with my dad where I am fearful of expressing my distress when driving with him. My mom is all flustered with the situation, complaining that it is difficult living with both me and my dad. I have recently considered paying for extra lessons with the driving school though there isn’t a lot of time between now and the evaluation. As well, each lesson is expensive.

My friend is urging me, once I pass the driving school’s evaluation, to book the actual road test in the next month to get my G2. This is making me nervous and upset as I don’t think I will ever be ready to take the road test given all of mistakes my dad keeps pointing out. I am a person who lacks confidence, doubts their abilities, avoids taking risks, strives for perfection, fears failure, and falls into crippling depressions during times of failure. It is honestly difficult being me.

Sometimes, I regret that I even got my driver’s licence. But it was either that or losing out on job opportunities that require a valid G licence. As well, it doesn’t help that I live in walking unfriendly suburbia in which you have to go to on a 10-minute walk to catch a bus that comes every half hour.

What should I do? How should I see things more positively?